Monday, October 13, 2008

O-M-G! You done lost yo mutha****** mind!

What do these kids think about before they act, talk, or text?

Many different ways to say it:

Off his rocker
Elevator doesnt go to the top floor
Not the brightest star in the sky
Not the sharpest knife in the drawer
Not the brightest crayon in the box

You get the point


These days it seems like im experiencing so many people who have such incomplete processes before they decide to do something. Its weird and I surely cant be alone in this.


Bachelor #1 - Big Papa

A nice young man, good head on his shoulders and all that. We met at a party some time back and have maintained a friendship and good conversation. He lives in another state so thats about all there is. So out of the blue I get the, "ohhh I wanna see you so bad, im gonna come to Atlanta" line. Im like ok that sounds cool, we can hang out, grab dinner, etc. And hes like yeah I just found a ticket for $320 so when I get there ill just get $160 from you and we'll be cool.

WTF!?!?!?

Did I say I was sending for you? Did I say "ohhh you should come visit me"? Hell naw. What makes you think you can volunteer my money without my approval...NEXT!!


Bachelor #2 - Baseball Fan

Again, a nice young man, good head...on his shoulders. Grad school student, motivated etc. So you call yourself wanting to get to know me. Fine by me, im not involved in anything committed at this point. So we're talking on the phone and a call beeps in and he says "hold on". So I hold and he clicks back over and is like "well the dude i've been kinda seeing is in the parking lot so i'm gonna call you when he leaves."

WTF!?!?!?

Attractive: + 50 points
Honesty: + 100 points
Conversation: + 100 points
Personality: + 100 points

Attempting to make me the other guy, and be
the one on the back burner: MINUS ALL of them damn points

NEXT!!


Bachelor #3 - Papi

So we've known each other for a while, lots of sexual tension between us. I think at one point if left alone in a room for an extended period of time, many calories would be burned and we would both leave with our skin having that "glow" on it. It would...have been, hot. Papi and I both met someone cool around the same time and did our own thing but we continued to be friends. So I saw Papi's boo out quite a few times without Papi and was like hmmmm that aint gonna last long at all. SO why when someones relationship fails do they think they can just make a phone call and just pickup where things left off? So now hes askin when I can come visit and chill or when he can come visit and chill. So because your situation didnt work out im supposed to jump at the chance to chill with you again?

WTF!?!?!?

Boi Stop!! I can't be that other guy, its not the position im interviewing for. My resume has been retracted from that database and its time for me to keep it movin. the economy is down and your timing is off. NEXT!!


Bachelor #4 - Persistent Peter

So "ex boo" is apparently tryin to keep Sprint and T-Mobile in business in this slow economy. He is making sure that the networks continue to transfer calls fromt he T-Mob network to the all PCS giant. He calls I answer, we talk. He calls, I answer, we talk. I dont think there is anything wrong with speaking because as adults I think you should be able to do that with someone youve dated. If you can lay in a bed with someone and share intimate moments and you later cant even be cordial then I say shame on you! Well it's about to be SHAME On ME! Remember that song Bug-a-Boo? Yeah if I had a pager still I would have thrown it out the window by now lol. Well most recently I get a text at 1 in the morning. And they say the only thing open from 12am - 3am is the Waffle House and some legs. So im being cordial with this 1am text and then I get the invite to come over and "chill" really?! Chill at 1am? Boi stop!! Im no Einstein but Ray Charles could see the motive behind that one. He was tryna make it do what it do baby lol. So I decline that invitation and bid a good night. The next morning im told "Oh you got me confused!"

WTF!?!?!?

You askin me to come to your house at 1am and I decline the invitation and I'VE got you confused? This chile done fell off the rocker. WTF do I look like? This aint no CoCo Dorms and i am not Breon. Tryna text some Dick 2 Door by Delivery or somethin. Im not the one. So I reply back, since I have you confused I know how to proceed since I know where this is going, and thas by ending communication. I am a grown, professional. I dont have time for this. If we gone be cool, lets be that but we dont need bitterness and all to get involved. Now you wanna leave messages...but I got you confused? NEXT!!


What would you do with these people?

Am i crazy or do more people do this kind of stuff?

Where are the bright crayons found? I'm ready to color DAYUM!

6 comments:

fuzzy said...

You know what, I've been in all of those spots except for number 4! I never had a problem with someone callin me off the hook like that! but idk, I might enjoy that! lol

Gary T. P. said...

Switch em out switch em out switch em out switch em out....kick em out kick em out kick em out !!!!!!

C. Baptiste-Williams said...

hmmm

#1 - hell can i get 160 on my airfare... i really hope he was playing cause if not he played himself

#2 - when i read 'baseball fan' i knew he would be corny only corny dudes are baseball fans

#3 - why does this papi sound like another papi we both know from a mutual friends past

#4 - yet another corny one... because he got rejected u are the one confused

Pharaoh said...

Here is my $1.50 worth.
#1 GOTTA GO! You NEVER plan to go visit someone and expect that person to pay half. U suppose to be grown. Then act it dammit!
#2 Well. I don’t know if I’m totally mad with this…I’m not privy to yall other convos so maybe he really just see you as a friend and was having a “Gossip Girl” moment and told you about the guy he is dating.
#3 Unless I’m missing something here….you are being a bit hypocritical. You can’t clock him for keeping his options open and exploring those avenues when you are essentially doing the same with Bachelors #1, #2, & #4. Atleast consider starting “fresh” with this one
#4 Really…U knew what the text was for @ 1am…there wasn’t a need to respond. And by doing so could have been understood that you were “Down with the cause.” Many peeps fall prey to craving an Ex sex-ploit moment. The confuse bit…was just trying to save “face” and preserve the cordial friendship. But a poor way of doing so...probably would have been better to just call you and talk about it...or act like it didn't happen and continue with the conversations as before.

Kin'shar said...

I am so so laughing...ok lets start with this.. Its good that you have your priorities this way...I have to use this for my blog...one day. i gotta start nexting some niggas...LMAO


next im all sweets, they aint worth you

fuzzy said...

Okay, just hoping all is well. Haven't seen a current post in awhile...