So this blog is my update to previos blog about John Doe....
We continued to date and to see each other. When we are together I have some of the greatest times i can remember having on a date. The touch, the smell of the skin, the softness of the lips, it all is so great to me. Physically this is my type of person for real! I mean body is right for me, hugs feel great, affection......yall get my point. The issue for me is that while i called myself trying to give an Ultimatum, "tell me your name or im leaving you" i didnt go through with it! Why? Because I was really feeling him *sigh* and still am. Its rare for me to talk about who im spending a lot of my time with to family and friends because i dont want it to be a curse or something lol. Also i didnt want to lose having a good person in my life. I really believed and still do think that he is a great guy, handsome as hell, genuine. But i think he's been burned and burned bad. I feel like their are underlying insecurities that should be discussed but i ont want it to come across as an attack.
We talked about previous relationships and there was a justification on the name thing so i held out for a bit longer but it still remained an issue but i just decided to put my patience to the test. Outside of the name thing it seemed like things were going really well until one day i started thinking. Maybe he doesnt trust me or that who ever preceeded me was a person of such caliber that the dating scenario had been tarnished for him so bad that if i wanted any additional info that i needed to be the KNight in shining armor riding the White Horse in a fresh pair of air Force Ones lol.
Then i thought again and maybe this is where it makes the most sense for me. Our beliefs on trust were different. In getting to know someone, i give trust until you give me a reason not to while he believes trust is earned. Now im not Naive with my trust like "oh hes so great im gonna let him take my ATM card and get us some money for dinner". I aint no fool but trust like if were going to become an item then certain things are worth knowing and sharing especially when your potential mate expresses their concern about them. So now i sit feeling some kind of way because i enjoyed the time we spent together but was tired of fighting when we were apart. I feel like the root of a lot of my issues were because i didnt feel like i was trusted. Is it so much that i know his name...nah but its the principle that you are keeping it from me. To me trust is like solid ground, its extremely hard to build something amazing without that foundation in tact if that makes sense. Does it? I must admit i really do like him and care a lot about him but im not sure what to do next.
My questions for you.....
When dating someone new, what is your stance on trust? Do you give until there is a reason not to? Do they earn "trust" points until theyve reached 100 of them? Where would you go from here?
Thanks In Advance for the input