Tuesday, August 14, 2007

Questions on the brain....Whats your opinion?

It seems like i keep falling off with these blogs but im going to try to get in at least one per month. But anyway.....

Thinking about dating and the relationship game, do you ever wonder what it takes to truly be successful?? What are some of the reasons you think people in our community cant seem to either enter a COMMITTED relationship or if in one, maintain it?

I've been thinkin about this a lot lately as ive come across some really great catches but not great for me. Let's see theres Rodeo, Philly, Bam Bam just to name a few. I think one of the biggest reasons relationships are so hard to maintain is because the community has too many fuckin criteria. Gotta be tall, gotta be short, gotta be dark, gotta be light complected. Gotta have a Lexus, gotta drive a truck what the fuck ever.

I think ive come to a point in my life where im ready to meet compatibility. Im not desperate by any means but i feel like these criteria are limiting the possibilities of excellent relationships. I wouldnt even say its a homosexual issue. Its a Black gay issue. Take some time to look at the community and seee for yourselves. White gays and lesbians start out with getting a dog together, then the car and onward and upward to purchasing cars and homes together. And here we are thinkin were doing it real big by gettin a $1200 a month apartment and having both our names on the lease. Lets see if ya make it through the end of the lease.

Am i the only one that feels this way? Im not saying go out and settle for the next best thing but maybe if we as a community focus on less of the stereotypical no fats no fems bullshit and work on building something maybe even just friendships you might get something good out the deal. Just a lil babbling from my mind.

Thats all for now....I'm gonna go have lunch with a bus-riding, short yellow man, from Memphis, TN and then were gonna go to the petstore and look at dogs before meeting with our real estate agent. LATA lol


Valentino said...

I'm not in any position to give advice on this...ahem...but I have opinions and I think you're absolutely right. Like most things that go on in our community, we want what people are gonna see first before anything...We wanna look like the perfect couple, stylish, successful with that 5 bdr house in Lithonia and the matching CLKs. I think we fall in love first with looking like a wonderful couple before actually being a great couple...worried about what people are gonna say about us I guess. I could be wrong tho....

Go on and get you a piece of that cake !!

That Dude Right There said...

I was gonna say exactly what Valentino said. But I think that there are 2 other things that we do that doom relationships.

1. We expect too much too soon and don't let things just flow. We want to rush into a relationship instead of getting to know the person and allowing them to know us.

2. We let outside forces influence us. Forget about what people will think about you 2 as a couple. Some are going to be jealous. Some are going to attempt to influence you to leave the relationship. In the words of Mo'nique "f-ck them hoes"

C. Baptiste-Williams said...

i agree with most of the comments above... less that house in Lithonia, too fuckin far and Id prefer an E500 but I digress.. gay black men don't date... we go from meeting up to instant relationship in 2 days. and like dude over there said, we listen to too many outside forces instead of our own gut.

i have always hated dating but it is just what you have to do. im happy to be getting back to something and someone familiar in a few weeks cause i can't take too much more of this.

life said...

I talk about this in a blog I wrote like a month ago. It was a rant about general rules with the gays.