Monday, June 4, 2007

Miami and The Power of Forgiveness

SO i went to Miami for Memorial Day weekend. I had an AMAZING time!! So it seems that the boys flock to miami on this weekned to partake in sex, drugs, sun, and whatever else goes down at the host hotel and beyond ;) Well i went with my GBF with no expectations just that i wanted to get away and enjoy my friends. It was truly a memorable wknd. No sex for me tho...could have been but packed next to my wifebeaters and jeans were my morals and soon as i unzipped my bags in the hotel room they jumped right on out of my suitcase lol i wasnt mad though because This is Why Im Hot lol. But nah the real deal is i didnt have the desire to hookup or do what most went to do. I clubbed, i danced, i drank, and ate OHHHHHH and yall lemme tell ya lemme tell ya the sandwiches at the Wild Bean Cafe in the BP gas station are off the damn chain, got McDonalds beat by miles lol. The one downside to my trip is my potential lover shifted things where i didnt wanna go. There were talks about previous relationships and the leftover emotions of such but when i see u with ur ex and it looks like more than friends....leaves a bruh a lil disappointed Momma aint raise no fool. I had no idea the way things would go down but i still had a bomb ass weekend. Im not gonna get into details to protect mine and his friendship but since that trip Ive been evaluating my feelings. 5 years ago at a less mature point in my life i prolly would have bad mouthed you, thrown shade, cursed you out and some more. But im better than that now, on a pedestal some only dream of reaching. I have counted my blessings and have discovered something that i didnt know i was capable of....FORGIVENESS I must say Thank You for giving me that experience. It has made me a better man. Which leads me to my next part of this blog

I have gone through a washing of my ideas of life over the last 3 months. For my 25th birthday i received a book titled 'Conversations With God' and the dvd "The Secret' After finsihing my book and viewing The Secret i have been almost overwhelmed with thoughts and have entered into an overhaul of some aspects of my life. I pride myself on my energies in life and the way i treat people and allow myself to be treated by people. I have come to understand that often times people will do things in your life that may not be so appealing to you. It is at these points where you may choose to hate them forever and hold grudges, be shady, and go to extreme measures only to produce awkward moments, discomfort, and grief sometimes more for yourself than the person its intended to affect. Ive come to realize that acknowledgement is the key to forgiving. Recognize the truth of what is and has been and move forward. It was said on the oprah show of course lol Not forgiving is like drinking poison everyday and hoping the other person dies. The harm is done to self. You have to realize when to let it go!! Forgiveness doesnt have to be about i forgive you lets start over or i love you still. Forgiveness is granting your self the continuation of life and allowing happiness to flood your life. Mahatma Ghandi said "the weak can never forgive, forgiveness is the attribute of the strong" It is 4:45am as i write this and i am proud to say that i am strong and i forgive those who have done wrong, thrown shade, mistreated me, my family, my friends, and affected my life. I must go on now. Somewhat babbling but something i am proud of. I love me and i forgive he and she for that matter. Be blessed...

Always,

B Free