My mind wanders back, forth, and back again. Thinking of you brings so many happy feelings and smiles to my face yet im scared. Im scared because you make me laugh, make me smile, and youre the kind of person i just look forward to the next time we get to spend together. Laying in your arms, your gentle touch.....damn I dont know what exactly it is about you but i like it. I'm a little afraid though. I'm afraid that there might be obstacles all of which can be overcome if we both want it that way. What do you want from me? Who are you? Where did you come from? If i clean my pallet of the past will you clean yours? I understand that the past has a direct impact on our present but how much room does that leave for new growth better known as the future? I can honestly say ive spent many nights thinking about taking a walk with you. A walk down future lane. Where will we be a year from now? Will we still talk? Will we be lovers or friends? I dont know what's next and THAT is what i do know!
Always,
B Free
Friday, May 4, 2007
Tuesday, March 27, 2007
Blessed By The Best & Prayin For The Rest
Thank GOD! This is the blog I wrote on my flight home from my Birthday Celebration. With cell phone use prohibited onboard the aircraft, I'm forced to entertain myself. I watched Borat a little while ago on my laptop HIGH 5!! Lol
Now I sit listening to my ipod and thinking about how blessed I am. I have an amazing family, one who accepts and respects me for the person God put me on this earth to be. Many things my family may not understand about me yet they continue to love me. I recently saw a wonderful play with my mother called 'A Day In The Life' *The play is about a day in the life of a Black Gay Man.* and there was one part that stuck in my mind because it made so much sense. There is a scene where one brotha lost his position in the church because they found out he was gay. He told the bishop that he has prayed and prayed to not be gay and that he is accepting himself for who he is. He says that prayer won't change the impossible but that doesn't mean it doesn't work. He follows with an example by saying he can pray everyday for the rest of his life to be a White man and he knows it won't happen but that doesn't mean that prayer doesn't work. My mom found that very interesting as she continues to learn the homosexual side of my life and so she will be able to defeat the many stereotypes that have been cast on the gay community. Thank GOD I have an educated mother, one who is willing to learn and read to better understand that which she doesn't know. As i was writing this blog i received an email from my mother. This is it.......
" B Free,
Being your mother is one of the greatest gifts in my life. It has been inspirational, and full of surprises. more than anything it has been personally you... you in what ever package, condition you present or represent. I am just blessed to be a vital and vibrant part of you and who you are. You can be a little crazy at times and that is a little scary because that is when people say you are most like me.
I will love you always and in all ways- Every day of your life and as long as I am breathing. And when that time comes and I am no longer breathing, I shall then become your guardian angel and will watch over you and protect you from dark days, evil people and those with out your best interest at hand. Have a very Happy Birthday.
I Love you enormously,
Your Fine mother "
Oh so greatful, so blessed, so myself! Stay tuned......
Always,
B Free
Now I sit listening to my ipod and thinking about how blessed I am. I have an amazing family, one who accepts and respects me for the person God put me on this earth to be. Many things my family may not understand about me yet they continue to love me. I recently saw a wonderful play with my mother called 'A Day In The Life' *The play is about a day in the life of a Black Gay Man.* and there was one part that stuck in my mind because it made so much sense. There is a scene where one brotha lost his position in the church because they found out he was gay. He told the bishop that he has prayed and prayed to not be gay and that he is accepting himself for who he is. He says that prayer won't change the impossible but that doesn't mean it doesn't work. He follows with an example by saying he can pray everyday for the rest of his life to be a White man and he knows it won't happen but that doesn't mean that prayer doesn't work. My mom found that very interesting as she continues to learn the homosexual side of my life and so she will be able to defeat the many stereotypes that have been cast on the gay community. Thank GOD I have an educated mother, one who is willing to learn and read to better understand that which she doesn't know. As i was writing this blog i received an email from my mother. This is it.......
" B Free,
Being your mother is one of the greatest gifts in my life. It has been inspirational, and full of surprises. more than anything it has been personally you... you in what ever package, condition you present or represent. I am just blessed to be a vital and vibrant part of you and who you are. You can be a little crazy at times and that is a little scary because that is when people say you are most like me.
I will love you always and in all ways- Every day of your life and as long as I am breathing. And when that time comes and I am no longer breathing, I shall then become your guardian angel and will watch over you and protect you from dark days, evil people and those with out your best interest at hand. Have a very Happy Birthday.
I Love you enormously,
Your Fine mother "
Oh so greatful, so blessed, so myself! Stay tuned......
Always,
B Free
I'm A Grown Ass Man and I Feel Great!!
Flying 36000 miles in the sky Delta Flight 723 nonstop from Atlanta to Las Vegas. Sitting to my left is one of the best friends I've ever had. To my right I sit next to another one of the closest friends I've ever had. My flight scheduled to touch down at 8:41pm Vegas time where 2 more of my closest friends will meet me. The occasion.... The celebration of my 25th Birthday and G's big 3-0. I think about the occasion and am flooded with so many different feelings: curiousity, love, joy,happiness all while being deep in thought.
I'm curious as to what the next year of my life will be like. Filled with the love I have from the worlds best mother, the best brother I could ever ask for, a sea of friends who truly love me for me and who want nothing more than for me to be myself. Joy because 2 of my friends whom I don't get to see as often as I'd like will join me for my 25th and lemme tell u whenever we see each other we're guaranteed good laughs, many smiles and lots of jokes. Happiness because I truly realize how blessed I am. Blessed to have the circle of friends I have and family, my family life is one that people could only dream of. Deep in thought because my path has crossed with someone's who has changed my thought process on dating. We'll call him Secret Lover like the song lol.
I don't know where we will go and I'm in no rush to get there because I truly enjoy the current happenings. Mr.......You've taught me soo much in such little time and at times its hard for me to verbalize my thoughts....maybe its a fear of mine to let my feelings out, fear of coming off tooo strong? I truly value you as a person as we continue to build this friendship. Who knew a man of such stature, with a personality so dynamic, a touch that invigorates my mind, body, and soul, and the passion in your life and drive for self improvement, again I ask......who knew that someone like this could be a part of my life? The idea of that is appealing to me to say the least. My Ipod is playing and im listening to the new album by Musiq Soulchild the song titled Ridiculous through and the song is so fitting. So when Secret Lover reads this I would only hope that he will listen to the song, it speaks volumes so just let me know if you don't have the album ;) . Ooooh I can't wait till this Plane lands I'm gonna call my mom, and my brother to let them know that I'm safe then dial up Secret Lover and have our goodnight conversation as we've had since the night we exchanged #'s. Just some thoughts that I wanted to get off my chest before I hit these slots....yippee!! OUCH, WHEW, DAYUM! Lol....Texting a whole blog on the Treo makes your thumbs hurt a lil bit so I'm signing off for now. Love you all, be blessed and be safe.
Always B Free
I'm curious as to what the next year of my life will be like. Filled with the love I have from the worlds best mother, the best brother I could ever ask for, a sea of friends who truly love me for me and who want nothing more than for me to be myself. Joy because 2 of my friends whom I don't get to see as often as I'd like will join me for my 25th and lemme tell u whenever we see each other we're guaranteed good laughs, many smiles and lots of jokes. Happiness because I truly realize how blessed I am. Blessed to have the circle of friends I have and family, my family life is one that people could only dream of. Deep in thought because my path has crossed with someone's who has changed my thought process on dating. We'll call him Secret Lover like the song lol.
I don't know where we will go and I'm in no rush to get there because I truly enjoy the current happenings. Mr.......You've taught me soo much in such little time and at times its hard for me to verbalize my thoughts....maybe its a fear of mine to let my feelings out, fear of coming off tooo strong? I truly value you as a person as we continue to build this friendship. Who knew a man of such stature, with a personality so dynamic, a touch that invigorates my mind, body, and soul, and the passion in your life and drive for self improvement, again I ask......who knew that someone like this could be a part of my life? The idea of that is appealing to me to say the least. My Ipod is playing and im listening to the new album by Musiq Soulchild the song titled Ridiculous through and the song is so fitting. So when Secret Lover reads this I would only hope that he will listen to the song, it speaks volumes so just let me know if you don't have the album ;) . Ooooh I can't wait till this Plane lands I'm gonna call my mom, and my brother to let them know that I'm safe then dial up Secret Lover and have our goodnight conversation as we've had since the night we exchanged #'s. Just some thoughts that I wanted to get off my chest before I hit these slots....yippee!! OUCH, WHEW, DAYUM! Lol....Texting a whole blog on the Treo makes your thumbs hurt a lil bit so I'm signing off for now. Love you all, be blessed and be safe.
Always B Free
Monday, March 5, 2007
Opportunity Knocks..... Who Should Walk In?
SO i had dinner with a few friends and my mother a nice italian feast. My mom is delighted to meet a few friends and begins telling many of my childhood stories and how she's watched me grow into a man.
Well after graduating From College and moving back to GA i was presented with an opportunity to enter into the world of Entrepreneurism. As my closest friends know, i don't work a 9 - 5 at all. Sometimes i think about doing it to get myself out the house and kepe myself busy but other times i just sorta pass that idea right on by. My hunger for finding a new job isnt great because this business opportunity, let's just say idont have to ask for money. It is Relationship Marketing, so the catch is some people have had bad experiences with this type of business. As a recent college grad iw as all about trying something to make a decent income with a low investment. As i was told at dinner, i was being stingy because i was not necessarily marketing this opportunty to my close friends. Stingy because i was receiving a decent amount of money and not sharing the information with my friends as to how they can be involved. I guess i just don't want to come across to my friends as B - the sales guy. Id rather have my friends wanna hang wit me without the expectation that im gonna push them into business. So now i feel like it is my position to share the business with those interested but without any pressure. It has been brought to light that this is what i should do. For those of you who asked about it you may go to www.ytbnet.com/bvff2000 and view the presentation. But my reason for posting this blog is to pose this simple question. If you have a great opportunity in front of you whether it be for business, amusement, a date that could be a atch for you and your best friend, or a contest like American Idol, do you feel its best to share the opportunity with everyone or do you quietly sign up and do your own thing?
Well after graduating From College and moving back to GA i was presented with an opportunity to enter into the world of Entrepreneurism. As my closest friends know, i don't work a 9 - 5 at all. Sometimes i think about doing it to get myself out the house and kepe myself busy but other times i just sorta pass that idea right on by. My hunger for finding a new job isnt great because this business opportunity, let's just say idont have to ask for money. It is Relationship Marketing, so the catch is some people have had bad experiences with this type of business. As a recent college grad iw as all about trying something to make a decent income with a low investment. As i was told at dinner, i was being stingy because i was not necessarily marketing this opportunty to my close friends. Stingy because i was receiving a decent amount of money and not sharing the information with my friends as to how they can be involved. I guess i just don't want to come across to my friends as B - the sales guy. Id rather have my friends wanna hang wit me without the expectation that im gonna push them into business. So now i feel like it is my position to share the business with those interested but without any pressure. It has been brought to light that this is what i should do. For those of you who asked about it you may go to www.ytbnet.com/bvff2000 and view the presentation. But my reason for posting this blog is to pose this simple question. If you have a great opportunity in front of you whether it be for business, amusement, a date that could be a atch for you and your best friend, or a contest like American Idol, do you feel its best to share the opportunity with everyone or do you quietly sign up and do your own thing?
Wednesday, February 21, 2007
Self Worth and Fine Wine
Like a fine wine gets better with time. Go ahead, spit your game rest assured this nikka neva lame. I do what I do because I can. Do u possess what it takes to make me your man? From the top of my fitted to the bottom of my timbs I hold what it takes to make ya body quiver from the center of your heart to the edge of each limb. Nah not just talkin, I practice what I preach, got mad love to give just let me teach. Who am I you ask? Might be the one for you. Invest a little time and see if it holds tru. Don't front like I'm a thug nah thas not my style. I'm da realest nigga out here jus look at my smile. I verbalize when I'm happy aware of when I'm sad. Trust its in ya best interest not to make me mad. Just one thing before I go. guess i'd better let u know. I'm lovin myself unconditionally, can you?
Tuesday, January 30, 2007
Monday, January 22, 2007
Mr. Representative
Wondering if anyone can relate.... Ever notice how when you meet someone as a potential partner things seem to go so smooth. Ole boy or girl will be on their best behavior and everything seems perfect. Then you start getting those thoughts like wow this has a lot of potential. Could it be what ive waited so long to find? You start to think of all the possibilities, vacations to take, valentines day celebrations and where to take that special someone. What should i buy for their birthday? You accept the fact that you have entered the beginning stages of catching feelings. It feels great, each new relationship always feeling better than the last one. Then BAM, the Representative for that "special someone" resigns from the position. Now you meet the real person. You begin to wonder, is this the real you? Where is all this inconsistency coming from? How long have you been like this? What changed that made ya flip mode like that? Can we bring back Mr. representative? Cause that was the one that i was feelin. Im not all about this new shit goin on!! Kinda like havin buyers remorse lol. So you had a nice lil person you were kickin it with but u thought you found the next best thing so you traded tha old one in for the new shiny one lol. Then you start to think about all you had invested in the last one and how you put your work in to keep things running smooth. The beginnings of second guessing come and this new new doesnt seem like it was a great investment. Fuck i shoulda kept my receipt cause i woulda taken this shit right on back. Awwww shit i just realized somethin. Momma aint raise no fool! She says to me "Baby, never put all your eggs in one basket until you have a chicken or two" Translation......I didnt delete the previous from my life, i maintained communication so im gonna endthis blog and make me a phone call. Talk to you all soon....B Free its not just representative of my name, its how i choose to live! Holla!!
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